i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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