I need help removing her.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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