I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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