I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
