i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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