Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
