So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
