There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize