I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
