im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And then my night got REAL pukey
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
