Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
