areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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