do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
