It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I supernannyed him into submission
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
