I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
