So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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