You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
