we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
