Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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