Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
