My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my being single is dangerous.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
