What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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