Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
40s are totally the cure
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
