nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
