would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
