It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
