Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
