You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
