everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
