A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
