also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
