my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize