is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
