I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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