Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
