But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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