Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I supernannyed him into submission
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
