If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
