I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
