i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
