took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
