Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
