so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize