break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
