Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
