cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
