we're blogging at a bar
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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