i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There was a lot of him and a little penis
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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