I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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