Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
