just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
