Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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