It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
