Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
