fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm at about main and main street
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
