yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
