I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
