last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
