Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
