saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
