...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
