After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
