I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
