THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
