WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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