the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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