hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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