Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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