How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize