Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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