Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
