Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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