He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This baby is an asshole
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
