My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
