1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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