I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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