Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
