Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
